Ode To My Id Edo

Well, I hate to say that I'm surprised
When the truth is that I couldn't have been more unprepared.
I know what I want, but it's buggin the FUCK out of me.
I wish I could tell you what you mean to me.
It ain't no lovey dovey mess,
It's more so a mature liking.

I know an ode is supposed to be romantic
But I'm all romanced out.
There is no more room left for any that are unkept...
Meaning I need something definite,
More exact than an extract or abstract
of the way you really feel.
Have you let her go or are you just pushing me away?